And now it’s 3:49am and my thoughts are racing. I’m in graduate school and I’m wondering if I could go to my school’s counseling center to see another therapist until I can get back in with my current. I should be able to just stick it out, right? Besides, I only had to push my appointment out until Thursday, and now it is technically Tuesday.
The reality is: I’m so afraid of sliding down this slippery slope called life and I’m sure that MANY people can identify; mentally ill or not. It seems like once we start slipping, the next stop is rock bottom and there’s no in-between–hence my anxiousness of wanting to speak with someone ASAP.
Anyone who has Generalized Anxiety Disorder will know that it will have you doing crap like this in the middle of the night. Not even an hour ago, I wrote out all the therapists I’ve seen and if I was the cause of our early termination. I don’t think I am…but I could see how I could be called a therapist-hopper, especially because I work in the counseling field and I’m in school for mental health counseling…CONFLICT.
My anxiety has already walked me through several scenarios where I am at a Mental Health Counseling conference and all of my previous therapists are sitting at the same table. I know the chances of this happening are slim-to-none…but I can’t say I haven’t thought about it over and over again.
I’ve been in the midst of a major depressive spell for the past 24 hours and I’m anxious and fearful x20. My heart is racing, my thoughts are racing faster and I’m not sleeping. If I don’t feel better by the morning, I’m going to see a school therapist AND I will attend my Thursday appointment with my current therapist. I hate having to being transparent with so many people in the field that I work in (small town issues). I’m just going to have to play it by ear and feel things out as I go. This is my life we’re discussing. And if I’m not well, I cannot be there to advocate for others.
So…how many therapists can you see before you have reached your therapist-threshold? The answer: Seventy times seven. You pretty much need to do whatever is necessary to find that therapist that works for YOU. Establishing a therapeutic clinician/client alliance is important. It requires some “give-and-take,” but it’s importance should not be taken lightly.
When Your Brain Hurts