They were very careful with me…I am not sure if it was a “compassionate” careful or a “I don’t know what she might do next” careful. They started off with, “I just want you to keep in mind that the law does not require us to change the production standard if you are required to make a certain quota or see a certain amount of students. Where you ever given a specific number?”
I know they have to set the disclaimer first. If only they knew how difficult it is for me to request help…I am so independent and prideful of my work when it comes to my job, even when I worked in retail. I take my job very seriously, so it’s so embarrassing for me to admit that my disability is getting the best of me and I need help. It’s even hard to type it. I called my husband on the way back to my office and he even said, “I know you have to be overwhelmed for you to request accommodations, you never ask for help.”
Now comes the meeting with HR and my supervisors…which I barely have time for because I’m booked for the next 2 weeks. *deep breath* You’d think I would feel optimistic about the progress that I’ve made, instead I’m finding every reason to prove how it’s going to go wrong.
P R E S S U R E
Okay, so my psychiatrist received their request and I allowed him to release some of my medical documentation, just enough for them to know what my struggles are. I’m telling the truth…I don’t eat when I go home, my nerves are too bad.
I have to remind myself that these people are not my friends. I can be very naive when it comes to situations like this, and then I’m devastated when I realize that it’s all about business, and no one cares what I’m going through, as long as I continue performing my job.
I wrote that excerpt after the second meeting (before my medical paperwork came in) but before the last meeting which included my supervisor. I was really stressing over this.
I had the FINAL meeting a couple of weeks ago (I apologize for the delay). It went way better than I thought and I’m very pleased with the outcome. It took me a few days to be able to say that I am pleased because I’m constantly focusing on the negative. I really had to convince myself to be happy. They accepted my request for 45-minute appointments, my request for office relocation, my request for advising backup, and my request to drop down on my daily appointments. I requested to drop down to 8 appointments, and I only got approved for 9…which is fine…but I kept beating myself up thinking that I should’ve asked for 7 if I really wanted 8. OH WELL, GO AWAY BAD THOUGHTS.
Anyway, this is HUGE. THEY are willing to accommodate little ol’ me? I haven’t been able to enjoy them quite yet, but my first day with 45 minute appointments will start tomorrow. Thank you for following this story!
I’m pretty excited 🙂
Here’s a photo of me being excited 🙂
When Your Brain Hurts