HOW in the world do I explain to my supervisor that I am requesting accommodations?
I literally laughed inside when I thought of the idea. Who am I to think that they will take my anxiety literally and allow me to drop down to 8 appointments a day rather than my normal 10? There is an older counselor who can manage 11 in a day with no breaks. AM I CRAZY? I am sitting here looking over my self-evaluation drafts, wondering how I could “secretly code” in the fact that I need help without coming out and saying it. My pride will not allow little ol’, strong, independent, youthful, and micromanaging ME request a few accommodations to prevent myself from getting burned out.
I fear myself being discriminated against. Once you put your secret out there, there is no turning back. They will never look at you the same; in fact, some will look at you like you have lost your marbles. Sincerely, Anxiety
I have worked so hard to prove myself in every position I have been in. I constantly feel forced to prove that even though I am YOUNGER, my extensive work experience and education qualify me to do just as good as the masters-level counselors. My mind keeps telling me that I am proving myself everyday, but that I still should not back down because they will think that I am WEAK; however, everyday I feel even weaker for not requesting help.
I am allowed a certain amount of time for each client. I nervously watch the second hand on the clock as it ticks past the number 12. Another minute has passed, we have gone over our time today. I look into my client’s eyes as they ask several more questions to gain a better understanding of things. They are probably just as anxious as I am about beginning this new journey in their lives. I only catch the last question because I imagining my next appointment throwing a fit because their appointment will either roll over or be cut short. I feel my shoulders tense and my breathing turn shallow because TIME CONSTRAINTS ARE A TRIGGER FOR ME. There is not enough time for me to help this client in the capacity they are requesting. What is more important, quality or quantity? I know the right answer, but is it the answer they want?
I have been doing this job for 2 1/2 years now and I am burned out. I need accommodations. I know it sounds crazy because when you walk past my office, it looks as if I am not doing anything. The truth is, I am taking care of more clients than you or I can wrap our heads around. Our facility needs another me or it needs to accommodate the one me we have so that I can continue striving to my full potential in this position. My anxiety will not allow me to perform a half-job. Can you please assist? Thank you.
When Your Brain Hurts